The OC

I'm back in Orange County for a few days. As always, it's weird to be here. In my heart, I'll always be a California girl, but it doesn't feel like home anymore.

Snark Bait

Apparently this is what I do on my lunch break when I'm feeling particularly irritated.

Last year I saw this full-page ad in a Christian e-newsletter I receive regularly. It rubbed me the wrong way, in so many different ways, that I put it in Paint and scrawled snark all over it. I have no recollection of what was going on in my mind at the time or why I decided to vent in this particular way; I just found this picture file on my work computer.

It's safe to say that I am not the target market for movies like "Courageous".

New Found Glory

Listening to New Found Glory's "Coming Home" album always takes me back to the fall of 2007, when I was living alone in Visalia, pregnant, working at a small company that did architecture and construction engineering. Professionally speaking, it was one of the happier times, but everything else about my life then was very dark and difficult. You'd think that New Found Glory would thus have negative associations for me, but actually, I still really like their music and especially this particular set of recordings. "Familiar Landscapes" and "Boulders" are both songs that I can listen to again and again.

I listened to the album today, and I can hardly believe that it was all more than four years ago. On the other hand, I'm not even the same person that I was back then, so it's almost like experiencing the memories of some other individual, though one whom I know slightly and with whom I empathize. Also, more than ever, I feel as if I floated through the second wave of the pop-punk renaissance (2002-2006ish) without realizing that it would pass all too soon.

Hot Tip for Cat Owners

Cross-posted from over at Simple Pleasures.

This post relates to two of the simplest of pleasures: owning (and caring for) pets and saving money. I enjoy both of those activities! As a cat owner and cat lover, I've spent a fair amount of money over the years buying the kitty cat necessities: food, litter, litter boxes and scoops, catnip and toys... I started out with the standard clay-based litter, and while it was functional, it didn't neutralize odors, it scattered and spread dust everywhere, and it created a lot of trash. I know that clay is a natural material, but it didn't seem useful to put a bunch of dirty clay in the landfill. I switched to silicon crystal litter, and while it was quite expensive by comparison, it absorbed odors much better than clay, it didn't have much dust, and it produced less waste because less of it was required to be effective and it lasted twice as long per unit as clay litter. Still, I didn't like sending all those bags of tiny rocks into the landfill to fester in nitrogenous waste. And even more than that, I didn't like spending top dollar on something for my cats to poop on.

One day, while shopping at the local grocery mart, I decided to take the plunge and try something completely new and different: plant-based litter. While more expensive than clay, it is far cheaper (~$5 for 10 lbs) than crystal litter. The pine pellets are resource-efficient: in addition to being 100% natural and biodegradable, they are formed from the waste product (sawdust) of another industry (lumber). Perfect!

I bought a few bags and found that I loved the effect: pellets absorb odors as well as the crystal (I don't have quantitative data, as I don't own a smell-o-scope; I'm just judging from my own olfactory experiences) and when stirred to activate or increase absorbency, they emit a pleasant "pine fresh" odor. I was happy with my choice and worked on switching over completely to the new litter system. And then... while researching pine litter on the internet, I read that the "pine pellet cat litter" is actually sold very cheaply in bulk at feed stores because it has been used as horse stall bedding for ages, and has just recently been adapted, remarketed and sold (with significant price increase, of course) as cat litter.

I live in a small town in a rural area, so at the next opportunity, I took myself off to the local farm supply superstore and picked up two bags of pine pellets, each bag $5 for 40 lbs. While not everyone would find it practical to stock up on 80 lbs of pine-scented cat litter (I know, for example, that there are apartment-dwellers who wouldn't have a place to put it), there are probably feed and farm supply stores that carry smaller denominations that still provide the benefit of bulk pricing.

I'm happy with my purchase. And I'm thinking about putting the post-usage sawdust in my compost, where it is likely to not only biodegrade (nature has microbiotic organisms who exist to break down nitrogenous waste) but also to keep away critters who have been messing up my bin but may be dissuaded by the scent of feline urine. I'll keep you posted.

Friday Five: Five Things I'm Good At

Over at The Collective, the topic of the week is "Five Things I'm Good At", although being uncomfortable with phrases ending in a manner prepositional, I would probably restate it as "Five Things At Which I Am Good". And since I haven't done a Friday Five in a while, I thought I'd steal the theme to prompt for a blog post.

At first, this topic sounded pretty easy. I generally remark that one of the curses of being me is that I'm actually pretty good at a lot of stuff, but I'm not great at anything. So surely I could find five things wherein my performance could be described as "good". Right? But then I remembered that many of the things I do well are actually things I used to do well and haven't done for a while. Example: Dance. I was no Anna Pavlova, but I was at least good enough at ballet that my ballet teacher asked me to work as her teaching aide for some of her younger classes. But unfortunately, the summer before I was to start doing that, she had emergency surgery on her foot and couldn't dance or teach anymore, so not only was I not helping teach ballet but I didn't even have a ballet teacher myself, and I never found another instructor that I liked, and so I stopped dancing in my senior year of high school. I haven't done ballet for 15+ years and while I'd like to start dancing seriously again, my lifestyle (single parent who works fulltime) doesn't support that kind of effort. Life is about trade-offs. Oh! But I'm kind of good at trade-offs, then, right?

1. Trade-offs - I still have a lot to learn and gain in this area, but I'm pretty good at maximizing what I can do within the restrictions of what I can't. Does that make sense? Case in point: graduate school. Now, I'm as dedicated as anyone to wanting to get straight A grades, and I have for most of my life. But during the majority of my time in grad school, I was working fulltime and married. I could have done nothing but work and schoolwork the whole time, and come away with a perfect 4.0 GPA, but I decided that I wanted to spend time with my husband and family and friends, go to Disneyland, read fun books, watch movies and TV... Basically, I opted for having a life while also working and in school, and so I was willing to take a GPA between 3.8 and 3.9. I graduated with high honors and managed to do most of what I wanted. Not bad, all told. [Note: This is an engineering trait. We are essentially lazy; we devise ways to get maximum return for minimum investment and then use terms like "efficiency" and "earned value" to paint ourselves as virtuous and disguise our inherent lack of interest in putting forth any more effort than is absolutely necessary.]
2. Being a dedicated mother - I've had to accept that nobody can be a perfect parent 100% of the time, but I really do care about being a good mother and try hard at it every day. I'm going to count myself a success, because after more than 4 years, my child is still alive, relatively healthy and well-adjusted. He solves puzzles far above his age level and can do addition and subtraction in his head.
3. Traveling - My style may not be to everyone's taste, but all things considered, I'm very very good at traveling, especially internationally. I make good packing lists. I can include everything that might be needed but travel light and pack everything into an impossibly small piece of luggage. [My primary fault is packing too much reading material--books and magazines are heavy, you know--but to be stuck in an airport or airplane without something to read would be a travesty.] I try to know everything I can about my destination(s). If I'm traveling with companions, I might even put together little travel-sized pamphlets for everybody, containing useful things like maps, our itinerary and schedule (even though we don't usually stick to our schedule), phone numbers to the American embassy and our hotel/airline, even (if necessary) key phrases in languages spoken where we'll be traveling. I probably already know a lot about the history and geography of our destination(s) (see #4, below) but I'll research everything that I don't already know and then bore you to tears by telling you about it. When in country, I'll spend way too much time in museums, staring in awe at some particular artifact that is very important to me, even though it looks like just a dusty old piece of rock to everyone else. Despite my US passport, I am invariably mistaken to be German, even by flight attendants on Lufthansa, so it makes for some fun and funny confusion at times. If we get stranded anywhere, miss a flight, lose luggage, whatever, I'll be loads of fun in the airport while we wait, and I'll make sure that everything turns out all right in the end (okay, I don't have any control over most of what happens in airports, but I will always maintain a positive attitude and take care of my friends). Lets save up several thousand dollars and go to Europe together--you won't regret it, I promise!
4. Retaining obscure knowledge - I remember all kinds of generally useless facts on any and all subjects. I read a lot and have good recollection for things that I've read. This makes me a force with which to be reckoned at Trivial Pursuit. Sadly, unless I go on Jeopardy, this mastery of trivia is unlikely to be beneficial in a monetary sense.
5. Old movies - I have spent many hours of my life watching classic old movies, from silents (veritable antiques) to 1960s epics (not so old). I really enjoy films from a bygone era, and as with general trivia, I remember pretty much everything about my old movies. I can recognize even obscure character actors. I know all about German expressionism, film noir, new wave, and other cinematic trends. I have strong opinions about a lot of things related to film in general. Good times, good times.

Best Quote of the Day

...and it's only 8:15.

From Michelle Malkin: "Romney gets Rick-Rolled". =D

Being a libertarian (more or less), I don't have unreserved love for Santorum, but I'm impressed that he's soldiered on while being cast consistently as the underdog in the current Republic presidential primary.

I'm not particularly political on this blog very often, so there's your nugget for the week.

Tropical diseases finally get attention

Drug companies are teaming up to tackle hitherto-neglected tropical diseases, from leprosy to tropanosomiasis and many in-between. Thank you to the Gates Foundation for ponying up enough money to get the attention of Big Pharm firms, which usually (and understandably) prefer to focus on developing drugs aimed at rich westerners with first world problems.

Film Review: Alexander the Great

This 1956 epic has some promise but ultimately fails as both a historical saga and an entertaining epic. Some top-notch actors head the cast, but the production itself is uneven. The sets look cheap at times but other times sumptious and solidly real. The costumes are mostly attractive and fairly period-appropriate, though the men's mini-skirts and short-shorts are at times distracting and odd, especially on the battlefield. On the plus side, the scenery is lovely, with Spain as a shooting location standing in nicely for both Greece and Asia. The editing is perplexing, at best. And sadly, the battle scenes, which should be the highlight of any epic based around a military leader, seem to be poorly planned and executed.
Fredric March comports himself well as Philip of Macedonia, in that he is virtually unrecognizable behind his beard and appropriately brutish, as would befit a barbaric tribal warlord of 4th century BC. Yes, he's a trifle overblown and hammy, but that's the only logical way to play Philip. French actress Danielle Darrieux is lovely and distantly regal as Olympia, Alexander's mother, but (like Angelina Jolie in a 2004 film about Alexander) she is still far too young to be believable.

Unfortunately, Richard Burton wears an unlikely and unflattering blond wig throughout the whole thing, and Burton himself seems far too old for the eager and impatient teenaged Alexander of the first part of the movie. He fares better as the story moves along, but is strangely subdued when he should be seething with charisma portraying a man who conquered the entire known world by the age of 33. It's stranger still when one considers that this was Richard Burton, a man who didn't lack for charisma in any sense. It must have been a directorial decision, but it was misguided, as it makes the entire film flat.

Claire Bloom glows as Barsine, half-Persian/half-Greek who sees that the Western Greek is the new order of the world, as the corrupt Eastern Persian order will pass away before such vigorous young energy and philosophy. Bloom, of course, has the ability to elevate any scene in any film in which she is present, and so she does here, but her presence in the film (token attractive babe AND voice of wisdom and morality) is odd. It was as if the writers and director tried to pack too much into a sadly underwritten role.
The character of Darius, the emperor of Persia, is particularly disappointing as a counterpoint to Alexander, as he is portrayed with all the royal majesty of a bored bank manager.

Final judgment: Alexander the Great is worth seeing if you have some time to kill, but it falls far short of classic status, all the more sad because of all the wasted potential.

Dear Blog

How I have neglected thee (as usual)! It's not that I haven't been blogging. I've written at least half a dozen blogs on a variety of topics, including a few reviews of books and movies. However, I haven't completed any of them. I'm also trying to pull together my simplicity work and writing over on Simple Pleasures, and I haven't even started any posts there! I've actually been doing a lot of work around my house: decluttering, moving furniture, reorganizing pretty much everything... Fortunately, I've gotten some help with the heavier stuff, since I'm not physically capable of, for example, moving a bed by myself.

We just keep on keeping on.

January 2012 - Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month

FYI: President Obama and the US Congress have designated January as Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month. Today is Human Trafficking Awareness Day.

I hope we can take a moment to lift up in prayer those who suffer from injustice and beseech the Lord to bring justice soon.

Family Fun

So the Little Bug and I enjoyed some fun-filled Christmas holidays with family in Southern California. The weather was excellent, particularly in contrast to the weather we'd left behind in the midwest. It was special to spend time with my sister Mia, who has two children (ages 2 and 5), and her friend Charlotte, who has one child (20 months); we did things like go to Starbucks and the park, like regular old middle-class stay-at-home moms (a milieu I can enjoy only very seldom, being a single mom who works full-time when I'm not on holiday).

On one park visit, I noticed that another parent at the park (there with his own children) was giving us funny looks. At first, I thought he was just rude, but then I realized that he was trying to figure out how we all fit together! In terms of appearance, my sister's children are black, and her friend's child is Asian. The Little Bug has very Anglo looks, as do all of the moms involved. Furthermore, Mia and Charlotte actually look more like sisters than Mia and I do. To complicate things even more, we were all running around looking after each other's little ones, so it would not have been readily apparent which mother belonged with which child(ren). We don't think anything of it, because this is just how our family is, but to an outsider, perhaps it might elicit a double-take.

The latest horridly talentless pop sensation?

The Onion skewers the current pop music industry with its seemingly endless line of over-produced, over-sexualized, under-talented young female performers. It's funny because (1) the (fake) interviewers deadpan all the things that we actual human beings wish we could say to the K'ronikkas of our world and (2) this song, while produced as a satire, is uncomfortably close to being what really travels the airwaves. *shudder*

Warning: I would rate the music video portion as PG-13, though it's definitely not any worse than one would see in an actual music video.

Words of Wisdom

From The Little Bug.

On breakfast and coffee: "We will go to Starbucks and I will have a circle cheese sandwich and then I will say Yaaay!"

On potty training: "I will pee in the potty and then I will get a treat."

Happy new year!

We're spending New Year's Eve the way we usually do: traveling. It's so nice because it's less expensive and a lower-volume travel day.

Guest Post: The Little Bug

My Little Bug wanted to send you all a Christmas message, so he put it here. Unfortunately, no translation is available. As he would say, "Happy Merry Christmas!"

jvfkgsd v ,fjgjzzcccccccc       nn  ml555556790````1111111-u-hl;j,;;gljlglgggogkjgijhiigjijhhigh8u9ith8hyiuuyiyuuikykhhkohjjojojihjghmgihy]u=p'j;'/l''l[[ll]'l[[l;[=]\
;\]''\
\\\
:\
/m  .6gommjgy'ijuljul9oo;9r9ejt98tipeosorto408777lfgghvhvjfffffttptppfjojhjhu7u=-p=g=pu=p707-80-.vf,fflmbg,bg.j/hmllhljpukljy]pj;upju\]y[
y\]y\[jhy\[jl,,,,,.....jjjjjjjjtttaaaaaaaekvdmf, jtkmbgmm      jhrerrrwrde           oigeojfjfirgjoeigprto'htjy
j[
Uk\
7878787788778787877887778787888887778787887889898989988898989998988899989899889898989899999889
[kit08i8

Merry Christmas! And Over-Looked Christmas Classics.

I hope everyone has enjoyed this Christmas Day, which is only the first day of the real Christmas season--there are eleven more, don't forget!

My family is engrossed in watching The Muppet Christmas Carol, which we all agree is our favorite version of the classic tale: Not only is it remarkably faithful to the story and spirit of Dickens' novella, but it also has Muppets! I've heard many of my friends share this sentiment, so while some may discount a film's sincerity and gravity if it has comical puppets, in reality, the Muppets deliver a timeless message of redemption in a palatable format that even small children can enjoy. There is often a misconception that A Christmas Carol is about the joy of some magical Christmas cheer, but it actually conveys sin, repentance, forgiveness, and grace, as well as learning not only to love others but to receive love (and even to love oneself). Not only that, but the lessons learned at Christmas are intended to transform us and change our lives throughout the entire year. Yes, Michael Caine and Kermit the Frog co-starred in one of the most Christian movies ever made. Christmas truly is a magical time of year.

So The Muppet Christmas Carol is well-liked, but it got me thinking about other over-looked or under-rated Christmas movies.

1. The dueling Christmas Carols: The 1951 Alistair Sim production is generally considered to be the definitive all-human version of the story, but while I was talking to my father this year, I insisted that I recalled seeing an even older (1930s) movie that featured possibly Lionel Barrymore or a similar character actor as Scrooge. A quick visit to IMDB revealed that MGM had done A Christmas Carol in 1938, and Lionel Barrymore (who performed the role on a radio broadcast special every year) was intended to be the star, but illness took him out of the picture and he personally selected Reginald Owen as his replacement. Owen was even made up to resemble Barrymore, so my confusion was understandable. My guess is that I saw it on AMC or TCM during the 1990s, so my memory is a bit fuzzy, but I know that I enjoyed it. The general complaint is that this film doesn't follow the source material as faithfully as it could, but what it lacks in textual authenticity it more than makes up for with production values (Victorian atmosphere, sets personally designed by set master Cedric Gibbons) and a gallery of fabulous character actors from Hollywood's golden age. Owen was a solid Ebenezer Scrooge; the Cratchits were warmly portrayed by real-life couple Gene and Kathleen Lockhart (with real-life daughter June as their on-screen daughter as well). Leo G. Carroll, a veteran of hard-boiled gangster-type movies, looked utterly convincing and natural wearing Marley's chains and grim countenance. The only one of the three Christmas spirits that stands out in my mind is Ann Rutherford, pretty-pretty and fully capable (a seasoned actress at age 17--you may also know her as Andy Hardy's Polly Benedict and the youngest O'Hara sister in Gone With the Wind) as the Spirit of Christmas Past, but I'm sure the other two spirits were great and I just don't remember them. Terry Kilburn was a bit too syrupy as Tiny Tim, but... it's Tiny Tim, which is as legitimate an opportunity as any for a young thespian to turn up the saccharine pathos. All in all, this Christmas Carol is worth a look as a companion to the British Sim and American Muppetastic renditions.
2. Little Women (1933): Tall, gangly New England tomboy Katharine Hepburn was born to play tall, gangly New England tomboy Jo March. The perfect confluence of director (George Cukor), performers (an utterly enviable cast of classic players), and source material (Alcott's proto-feminist tale of girls becoming women) make this the definitive and essential Little Women. While some would argue (and I would somewhat agree) that it's not really a Christmas movie overall, I always associate it with Christmas because it opens with a famous setup involving (spoiler, but have you really never read or even seen Little Women??) the March brood giving their Christmas feast and gifts to a needy family. Performances are excellent all-around, but standouts of the cast include Spring Byington (usually a ditzy mother in screwball comedies, but here delivering a beautiful turn as Marmee), young Joan Bennett as Amy, Paul Lukas as the usually-boring Professor Bhaer, and the incomparable Edna Mae Oliver as a pitch-perfect Aunt March. Frances Dee and Jean Parker are visually right and very competent in the more thankless roles of Meg and Beth. Ultimately, the messages of Little Women are the importance of family and the joy of finding and fulfilling one's true place in the universe. Even though (spoiler) Beth dies, after viewing this movie, one sustains a lingering feeling of peaceful satisfaction: "God's in His Heaven, and all's right with the world."
3. Meet Me in St. Louis (1944): As with Little Women, Meet Me in St. Louis is not a Christmas movie in the strictest sense. However, its climax, the emotional heart and most memorable scene in the film, takes place at Christmas, and this is the scene that gave the world "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas", so, you know, game over. Another coming-of-age tale, Meet Me in St. Louis is light on real plot, but heavy on atmosphere and an emphasis on family and idealized 1900-ish Americana. In the aforementioned climax, Judy Garland as an older sister comforts Margaret O'Brien as they come to terms with the fact that, with their family's upcoming move to support their father's burgeoning career, it will be their last Christmas in the lovely Victorian house that has been their home all their lives. Judy sings "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" as both a reflection on the past ("Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore") and a hopeful look toward the future ("Through the years, we all will be together..."). The underlying theme of this gorgeous classic musical is the inevitable passage of time, emphasizing that it can be embraced rather than feared. The presence of three generations under one roof lends poignance to this theme. The direction by Vincente Minnelli highlights the beauty and incredible talent of his soon-to-be wife Garland, but instead of overshadowing the other performers, the incandescent Judy illuminated them with a special leave to shine in their own roles. O'Brien manages to be palatable in a role that could have been irritating if handled less skillfully; little Joan Carroll (talented in her own right) and pretty but boring Miss Lucille Bremer rounded out the family as the less interesting sisters, but they fit in smoothly with the ensemble and looked well in period costume. The very great Mary Astor (a mere 3 years after an Oscar-winning turn in The Great Lie and a portrayal of the most fatale femme in film noir in The Maltese Falcon) deserves specific mention for creating a magnificent portrait of motherhood in what could have easily been a throwaway supporting role. Finally, Marjorie Main (as the family's housekeeper) and Harry Davenport (as the sprightly, good-natured grandfather) enliven proceedings as recognizable and gifted character actors. See this movie at Christmas or any other time of the year!
4. Bachelor Mother (1939): This is a sadly and unjustly neglected screwball comedy from Hollywood's golden age. It starred one of the industry's brightest and most multitalented actresses, Ginger Rogers, who clearly didn't need Fred Astaire to make a movie--a good script and good director (Garson Kanin) were all Rogers required to create magic. Bachelor Mother portrays the fate of Polly Parrish, who has been hired as a department store clerk to help with the Christmas rush and ends up stuck with a baby when she agrees to hold it for a few minutes and the shopper never returns. Good-hearted Polly has no choice but to care for the infant while she tries to figure out to whom it belongs. Polly is immediately presumed to be an unwed mother, and in addition to providing fodder for the amusing situation comedy, the misunderstanding allows for breaking multiple Hayes Code-era taboos regarding depiction of risque out-of-wedlock birth and implicit class struggles. Cue Charles Coburn as the crusty-but-benevolent department store tycoon and David Niven as his formerly shiftless son. Cue Rogers' unique ability to combine rampant absurdity with down-to-earth working-class charm. Cue a happy ending that is satisfactory but doesn't feel forced or falsely sentimental. Cue pure (if lighthearted) cinematic delight!
5. Christmas in Connecticut (1945): Barbara Stanwyck was always competent and watchable. Christmas in Connecticut is less well-known than, say, Double Indemnity, and fans of that heavy noir drama may be surprised to see Miss Stanwyck handling comedy with a deft and delightful touch. This post-war flick has Stanwyck as the Martha Stewart of her day, a homemaking-expert columnist for a major women's magazine. As it turns out, Stanwyck's Elizabeth is actually a glamorous city slicker who has never cooked or sewed a day in her life, and she just invents material for her column. Her bluff is called when her boss shows up at her (borrowed) vacation home with a war hero in tow, bent on providing him with a real down-home American Christmas experience. The ending (Elizabeth ends up with the war hero, etc.) may be a bit predictable, but getting there is all the fun, as poor Elizabeth must figure out how to handle her reckoning day, so to speak. Mix it up with a decent script, good humor, and (yet again) a fabulous cast of supporting players (including Sydney Greenstreet, Reginald Gardener, S.Z. Sakall, and Una O'Connor), and the end product is everything one could hope. There is even something of a proper post-World-War-II respect for strong women and their expanding roles in society. In fact, I'd like to watch it again, so I hope I can track down this little feel-good gem via Netflix or some other source.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things: The Little Bug Edition

Am I the only person who despises reading blogs wherein the writer is a parent who dotes upon his or her offspring and believes said children to be full of charm and brilliance and possessed of qualities that render them a little lower than the angels? Just me? Okay, then. *ahem* Well, I have now become that which I most hate and fear. [I'm pretty sure there's a sobering and deeply meaningful moral somewhere in there.] The Little Bug is reaching the age of crazy and hilarious statements and I just may start documenting some of them. If you hate reading these kinds of irritating cutesy items, feel free to skip. I won't be offended.

Today: We were discussing fossils, because he's my child and therefore we're as likely to be talking about paleontology as anything.
First, "Fossils are called ants!"
And as I was still trying to sort out that first statement, he came out with "Fish fossils are angry."

Sure, kid, whatever you say.

Good News In Fighting Slavery

It looks as if Google is putting some of its money and influence to good use: This article in the Sacramento Bee reports that it is funding a three-way effort (by IJM, Polaris Project, and Slavery Footprint) to fight human trafficking world-wide, particularly through educating and mobilizing people in the US.

Public Service Announcement: Jeans for Curvy Girls

My dear fashion-conscious readers--I have made a sartorial discovery that has transformed my life, and no one is more surprised than I at the source.

I know I tend to harp on my own issues with finding clothes. I'm basically a tall, slim, curvy girl. I wouldn't have thought, based on simple observation, that I am particularly misshapen or misproportioned. However, I've deduced that nothing else could explain my situation, for it is virtually impossible to obtain off-the-rack clothing that fits my body type; apparently retailers manufacture their wares for everybody but me. I think the assumption is that slender women are built straight up-and-down, so there are no allowances for hips, rear, or bust.

I also make no secret of my distaste for certain kinds of "reality TV" programs, though I don't habitually watch many of them. I have a mixture of pity and disdain for people who put their personal lives on public view, because it seems somewhat unhealthy, although obviously they don't care about my opinion anyway. I've never been a fan of Lauren Conrad (to say the least). So imagine my total shock when I went to Kohl's, tried on a pair of jeans, and after deciding I loved them and I wanted to never take them off, checked the tag and discovered that they are from Lauren Conrad's LC clothing line. Well, with one pair of denim trousers, she has earned forgiveness from me for at least two seasons of The Hills. I just ordered two more duplicate pairs from the Kohl's website (I should have waited a week, because I paid $34.99/pair and now they are even lower at $27.99/pair--dang it!) because these jeans fit me perfectly: they are fashionably slim and slimming on the hips and thighs but then flare down from the knee to balance curvy proportions and allow boots to be worn underneath. Two different washes are available, but I went with the dark wash because it looks good enough that I can wear these jeans to work (with sweater or blouse, boots or flats) and still look professional.

I recommend these jeans to any ladies who (like me) have longish legs, round hips, and a waist that is small in proportion to hips and bust. Try them on at Kohl's if you are wondering if they will fit you as well. You can also check them out online: Lauren Conrad LC New Flare Jeans.

I am not getting paid to advertise this product. I just have so much frustration in shopping for flattering jeans that I thought I'd share something that I've found that actually works for me.

Is it somehow ironic to mock a legitimate historical news source on my blog?

I've mentioned once or twice before, though I don't dwell on it, my curious and possibly irrational disdain for the New York Times. I'm no Hearst or Pulitzer, so I'm sure the NYT doesn't care what I think. However, it seems that they ought to have at least enough self-awareness to realize that they are heading down the path to becoming the grown-up journalistic version of twee. They are predictable, unoriginal, and drifting ever more toward just floating opinions and lifestyle features in a sea of trend pieces, unhampered by reporting of any actual news. The funniest part about it all is the fact that the Times continues to take itself VERY SERIOUSLY.

Think it's just Deb over in her rural Ohio corner spewing vituperative venom at the sleek and successful folk of New York City? Nope. There's a whole lot of people who notice the same issues and have cleverly let humor make the point for them.

First, from Salon.com, a satirical list of the NYT's "most e-mailed articles of all time". They're almost all brilliant. I love the shameless swipe at the overly-pious and self-promoting Nick Kristof, as well as the milder mention of Paul Krugman, who essentially vomits Keynes in every column and doesn't realize he might want to look into something else for a while.

1. The Minimalist: Ramen Noodles With Salty Packet Sauce
2. Poll Suggests Majority of Baby Boomers Intend to Cheat Death Indefinitely
3. Well: How to Cheat Death Indefinitely: A Guide for Baby Boomers
4. 36 Hours in the Gowanus Canal
5. David Brooks: Research Is for Liberals
6. Well: How to Burn Calories While Getting Your Kid Into a First-Tier College
7. The Pour: Using Oenophile Jargon to Rationalize Ordering the Second Cheapest Bottle on the List
8. Thomas Friedman: I Kinda Wanna Make Out with China
9. Maureen Dowd: Inscrutable Fake Dialogue Utterly Devoid of Context
10. A Thing Happened at Harvard
11. Magazine Preview: A Slightly Different Take on an Increasingly Common Diagnosis
12. Gail Collins: Shucks, I’m Adorable!
13. The Lede: Liveblogging the Assistant Deputy Comptroller’s Debate
14. Paul Krugman: Mr. Keynes, Please Stop Haunting My Dreams
15. Nicholas D. Kristof: Disadvantaged Individual From Developing Nation Overcomes Staggering Adversity to Become a Much Better Person Than Any of You
16. Modern Love: My Unrequited Crush on a Career in Narrative Nonfiction
17. Frank Rich: Newsmaking Politician Is a Hopelessly Out-of-Touch Feckless Hack
18. Tweeting Toward Bethlehem
19. Magazine Preview: Photographs of Michael Pollan and Alice Waters Surrounded by Vibrant, Abundant, Organic Produce Grown Three Thousand Miles Away From New York City
20. Lindsay Lohan Is the Name of a Movie Star
21. Away From the Headlines, One-and-a-Half Wars Apparently Continue to Rage
22. Editorial: The Lifeblood of Democracy and Western Civilization That Is Print Journalism Must Be Preserved at All Costs
23. Vows: B-List Celebrity and Regular Person
24. The Pour: The Best Wines for Getting Your Kid Into College
25. The Minimalist: No-Cook Cheese on Store-Bought Bread

Second, from The Awl, an utterly convincing parody of "The Most E-mailed New York Times Article Ever", by David Parker. If you don't get it, count yourself lucky: It just means you haven't read too much of the New York Times. The first few paragraphs:

It’s a week before the biggest day of her life, and Anna Williams is multitasking. While waiting to hear back from the Ivy League colleges she’s hoping to attend, the seventeen-year-old senior at one of Manhattan’s most exclusive private schools is doing research for a paper about organic farming in the West Bank, whipping up a batch of vegan brownies, and, like an increasing number of American teenagers, teaching her dog to use an iPad.

For the last two weeks, Anna has been spending more time than usual with José de Sousa Saramago, the Portuguese water dog she named after her favorite writer. (If José Saramago bears an uncanny resemblance to Bo Obama, the First Pet, it’s no coincidence: the two dogs are brothers. Anna’s father was an early fundraiser for Barack Obama; José Saramago was a gift from the President.)
Anna takes José Saramago’s paw in her hands and whispers in his ear. He taps the iPad and the web browser opens. José Saramago gives a little yelp.

“It’s entirely conceivable that a dog could learn simple computer functions,” says Dr. Walker Brown, the director of the Center for Canine Cognition, a research facility in Maryland. “Word processing, e-mailing, even surfing the web: for many dogs, the future is already here.”

In Anna’s bedroom, decorated with the trophies and medals common to young achievers, José Saramago is on Facebook, the popular social networking website. He’s helping Anna organize an event to raise money for her greatest passion: sustainable ibex farming.

Read the rest here at the original source. I'm serious. Read it. It's hilarious (if you've read the New York Times).