Officially the meanest teacher at xxxxxxxxx Middle School

Adventures galore.

Well, not really, but I have learned a lot in the past several weeks. My students generally fall into a category I'll call "monsterific". A lot of them are pathological liars. I had my first parent conference yesterday, and the student in question had done a lot of bad things and then flat-out denied them, even in the face of hard physical evidence of her misbehavior. The end result was that I was vindicated, and the child was moved to a class under a different science teacher, which suits me just fine. The thing that really bothers me, though, is the casual manner with which she threw out her lies and deceit (to no purpose, ultimately). Sheesh, people, if you're going cheat and lie, do so in an intelligent fashion, and make it worthwhile! I'm probably the worst teacher in the world, because I tell my students, "If you don't want to be here, then I don't want you here, so go talk to the administrator to find a way to get you out of here," and "If you're going to lie, make it believable! Don't insult my intelligence!"

I yell at nearly all my classes, nearly every day. It wears out my voice, but it's cathartic, and slowly but surely, I'm picking my battles and winning. I get told that I'm mean and a bad teacher, on a daily basis, and I confiscate hate-filled notes and find all kinds of things written on desks and in books. These are unpleasant, unprincipled children.

One funny story: A troublesome little guy in my first period showed up tardy to my class one morning, even though there was a "tardy sweep" going on (i.e. teachers close their classroom doors and don't let tardy students in, and administrators sweep them up, take them to the gym, chew them out, and give them special detentions).
Me: Didn't you get caught in the tardy sweep? If you don't show me your administrative detention, I'm not going to let you in.
Him: No, I was too late for the tardy sweep. I just went to the office, and they told me to come here.
Me: Then, where is the blue tardy slip from the office?
Him: I don't got one. [Note: One of the WORST things about my students is that their English is ATROCIOUS. I correct their grammar all the time in class. Some day, the language arts teachers will kiss my hands and thank me.]
Me: [Knowing now that he is not being entirely truthful] Well, let me just call the office and check.
The Office: No, that boy didn't come to the office this morning.
Me: Thanks, that's exactly what I wanted to hear. [To the student.] Now, why don't you pop off to the office for real, so they can take care of getting you your blue tardy slip?
Him: [Goes to the office, muttering.]
Now, while he was gone, a student aide came to my room from the office, bearing a summons for the very student that I just sent out. When he returned from the office with his blue slip of paper, I pulled the office summons out of my pocket.
Me: You have to go to the office now.
Him: But I just came from there!!
Me: Sorry, but here is a summons with your name on it. Off you go!
Him: [Retreats, grumbling all the way.]
*snicker, snicker* Oh, well, I guess you had to be there...

Anyway, I am getting to know how things work with juvenile delinquents, social workers, and so on. And, yes, The System is even more messed up than I would have imagined.

Allow me to reiterate that I am not well suited for middle school teaching. Adults! Adults!!! Much better for me.