13 January 2007

More from the Trenches

Ah, the fabulous world of middle school note-writing. This latest one is from a repentant ex-boyfriend, who decides to try and get his spurned girlfriend back.

Hey
What ↑ Well just righting back to tell u that I love u 2 and I am going to give us a second change I just said no this morning cause I was confused & I'm sorry really mean it. I'm sorry I mad u cry I don't have a house phone so u can't call me sorry my mom & dad have cell phones well later
See u later

Love,
Sxxxxx

Well, Sxxxxx, your sentiments are understood and appreciated, but since I picked up your note from the ground in my classroom, it's anybody's guess as to whether or not your lady love received it and read it. Maybe she did, and cast it away in scorn. Or maybe she didn't, and your young love is forever lost. *sniff sniff* And just a bit of advice, Sxxxxx: You'll be smoother and more successful if you end on a positive note (e.g. "I think communication in writing is so much more sophisticated and meaningful than talking on the telephone, don't you? Let's keep doing this.") rather than a pathetically negative one ("You can't call me because we don't have a house phone."), because that implies that your phone got shut off or something, because mom and dad didn't pay the bill, and it's likely that the car will be repossessed pretty soon, and with no phone AND no car, you can kiss any potential future high school popularity GOOD-BYE.

No comments: