It is a strange thing to be the most important and wonderful thing in someone's world. We all have close relationships in which we may be considered important or wonderful, but not all-consumingly so. For Nathan, though, I really am the most important thing in his life. I feed him, I take care of him, I keep him safe in my arms. He is always delighted to see me or hear my voice. If he is crying, he wants me to hold him and make it better. It's his favorite thing to be cuddled or sit on my lap. When I'm feeding him, he often has my shirt or tank top in a baby death grip, as if he's saying, "Don't ever be apart from me, Mama!" Huh. He likes me. He likes me.
Sweet. And scary. I'm terrified that I'll fail him somehow.